


Forever just hoping, wishing, and falling

by FJSoriano



Category: Purple Hyacinth - Ephemerys & Sophism (Webcomic)
Genre: Gen, I need sleep, I'm gonna hurt you in chap 2, I'm too tired to search it up, In a few hours, Inspired by two fics I'll find in the morning, Mainly yearning in first chapter, Point if view is Lauren, Sophie makes a brief appearance, Technically major character death, at least I think it is bittersweet, but sometimes no, but ~bittersweet, can you let me know, this is a garbage fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:21:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28403925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FJSoriano/pseuds/FJSoriano
Summary: There was this odd sentiment that both of them shared.It was that if one of them falls, the other one catches.In a figurative sense, not a literal one because once Lauren fell from a tree and all Kieran could do was tease her (before helping her) about it.They shared many dances with each other, again figuratively not literally,They once danced with death every night they went out, tango with the devil, foxtrot with the dead, and waltzed with the Gods. Yet in no moment did one let the other fully fall.She can remember them all. Every turn, every spin, every fall, everytime they caught each other.But she fell… and he didn't catch herYet he was the one that broke.
Relationships: Lauren Sinclair & Kieran White
Kudos: 36





	1. Where he leaves

**Author's Note:**

> I'm tired from writing this.... enjoy or not.

_**She wonders...** _

Paperwork as an officer was hard, much more as the Chief of Police; but she knew what she was getting into when she accepted. Unlike another deal she accepted without fully knowing all of its consequences. 

She is talking about the deal with the Purple Hyacinth. 

She knew who he was from the start. He was the Purple Hyacinth. The most powerful weapon in the Phantom Scythe's Arsenal. He could kill her within a heartbeat as he demonstrated so long ago. 

She did know, yet despite it all, he was the only one to make it past her walls. 

Defeatedly releasing her pen, she looks out the opened window, completely taken aback by how clear the moon shone. 

She had never been particularly observant with regards to its size and phases, but after everything ~~they've~~ she's been through, _how could she not?_

On one hand, it was a symbol of what she was once part of, Lune. On the other, it is a constant reminder of a past she wants to bury. 

She wants those memories buried so deeply that they don't control every aspect of her current life. 

_Exactly who was she trying to fool?_

Those memories will forever haunt and guide her; because as long as she was alive, he will always be there with her. 

He said it himself, 

_I'll watch over you through the moon._

_**...where is he now?** _

* * *

_**She wonders...** _

"Mom?" She snaps out of her daydream, and turns her head back to the door where a little girl was slightly hiding against the doorframe. 

"Do you need anything Sophie?" She gestures to her lap, pushing the signs of fatigue aside in order to look like her regular composed self. 

The girl did nothing except hand her a hyacinth, a purple one. She subconsciously holds her breath, praying that she just plucked it out on her way back from school and not given to her by any stranger. 

"It means I'm sorry in flower language mom" the apology was referring to earlier this morning when Sophie accidentally spilled cereal all over her finished paperwork; which is part of the reason why she was still working so late at night. 

_"I'm sorry, huh"_

**_...is he still alive?_ **

* * *

**_She wonders…_ **

A regular day at the precinct consisted of coffee, crime breakthroughs, and with kym trying her hardest to get any information out of Lauren regarding her relationship with Kieran. 

"Just tell me something! Anything!" Kym would continuously shout at her whenever she would see her talking with Kieran. 

"Kym no" she would always respond with that. 

"Kym stop" William would always order get to. 

"Ladell shut up" Lukas would occasionally pipe in

"I do agree a bit with the Sergeant Miss Lauren. Tell us more" Lila would sometimes plead, in that case she would unwillingly reveal a fake alibi. 

Those were the days that she wants to relive. Those days where things were so complicated and dangerous, yet it provided her a sense of comfort knowingly that no harm was to come to them. 

_How much of a fool was she before to wish all of it would soon end._

**_...does he think of her_ **

**_every now and then?_ **

* * *

**_She wonders..._ **

She slams the door open, uncaring of the weird looks of neighbors and passerby's. The apartment was small, so it only took a second to find him despite the lack of lighting. 

"You're going to get killed." She says, trying to hide genuine concern and remain completely neutral about the situation, only to have that facade destroyed a moment later. 

"You were never one for greetings are you?" Kieran asks, not bothering to look up from the newspaper; a newspaper that has the words:  **PURPLE HYACINTH TO BE HANGED IN THE TOWN SQUARE**

"You need to leave," she says hurriedly, moving past him and into the bedroom. She finds and drops the empty luggage down at the bed, messily throws his clothes inside. 

"Darling, I knew about this when I made that deal with you" he walks into the room, not bothering to stop her, instead only focusing on closing the windows and tightening the locks; making it harder to see, but that didn't stop her. 

"It doesn't matter. You deserve to be punished for the crimes you've committed, but not death" She understands the weight of his crimes, and how drastically it impacted Ardahlis as a whole; but if she learned something from her time as Lune, it's that punishment never equalled to death. 

"You can't die" She knows all too well the feeling of losing a loved one, and she swore to herself, so long ago that she would never let him die. 

"I have to" he didn't even try to convince her, he knew that she it would take a lot more that mere words to make her accept the king's decision "I need to pay for what I did" 

"Then tell them the reason why you did it! Don't just blindly accept what they all say!" She had tears in her eyes,but she didn't care. In a couple of months, he understood her better than anyone she has known for years. 

_**You can't die** _

_**You can't die** _

_**You can't die** _

_**You can't die** _

_**You can't die** _

_**You can't die** _

_**You can't die** _

  
_**You can't die** _

  
_**You can't die** _

  
_**You can't die** _  
  
  


"You can't leave me" she finally admits, letting the tears that have been waiting for years fall. 

"I'm sorry" he enveloped her in a hug, but he knows it isn't enough. They slide down to the floor, both letting tears of sadness, grief, and fear fall. 

"I don't want to leave you" he admits between silent sobs "But in one way or another, I will" 

"You won't be alone. You have Will, Kym, Lila, Lukas. Amazing people that won't push you through hell like I did" she never cared about herself, and he made her. 

"Thank you. I owe you so much, and it hurts to know that I can never repay you" she can see so much sincerity in his eyes that she felt no need to double check if he lied or not. 

Wiping her tears away, she helps him pack and cleaned the whole house so no evidence of her visit will be found. 

The streets were too dangerous to go out at night, especially since their cover was blown, so they had to improvise and use the path they know best. 

"One last time, Mon Amour" he offered his hand as assistance as she was struggling to climb the roof. 

_"I don't need your help" is what she would usually do along with slapping his hand away, but she didn't_. 

She took his hand, quickly adjusted to the coldness of the night, and ran. 

~

There was another train station in Ardahlis, a less popular, and far more dangerous station than Allendale. It was the one he took to escape, and she deleted all records of his escape.

"You're not one for greetings, may I know if you are for goodbyes?" He attempted to make the situation better with humor, but it didn't. 

_It never does._

"Just…stay safe" she looks down at her hand, she still hasn't let go of the hand he offered earlier. She forced herself to let go despite not wanting to, and by his hand lingering a little longer, he did not want to either. 

"Goodbye Lauren" she expected herself to be in tears, and him nonchalant, but it turned out to be the other way around. 

_"Goodbye_

_Kieran_ _"_

**... _was there another ending?_**

* * *

_**She wonders…** _

For years and years to come, she goes back to the abandoned train station. Same day, same time, for the next year, and another, and another. 

In a sense, it became the place she became most vulnerable in, but it was alright since only the most trusted people in her life knew of it. 

It was not a very ideal place of being weak, but it was the only place she could imagine meeting him again. 

That was where they parted paths, and she was a fool for hoping that it was where they would meet once again. 

She was truly a fool for trusting him. 

She knew that he was dangerous and could not be trusted, but along the way, she did. She knew that his loyalty was towards the Scythe, yet mad at him when he only followed orders.

_She did know, yet she still fell._

_And she is still waiting for him to catch her_

  
  


_**...where did it go wrong?** _

_What a fool she truly was._

_**Where did they go wrong?** _


	2. Where he comes back, but she leaves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _It turns out, she did not want all those questions answered. All she needed was to see him._
> 
> _And again she falls._
> 
> _Finally, he catches her._

She can remember the deal, running in rooftops at midnight, the sparring sessions, the lies, the discoveries, every last second.

And it provided her a bit of happiness knowing that she does not have a single regret regarding all of it as she lay at her deathbed. 

Those questions and thoughts about him, once bugged her for hours and hours on end. But soon, they disappeared. And she went on with her life like he wanted, and like she wanted. 

_**But she never forgot.** _

The door to her bedroom opened, and from it came an old man right behind her grandson. They made their way towards the edge of her bed, and her family silently left the room, giving the two the space that they needed. 

"Can you remember me Lauren?" She does not want to look at the man, nor try to remember who the voice belongs to. _But something in her does_. 

She struggles to look at him, meeting a pair of pale blue eyes that held many emotions for her, yet she does not feel anything at all. Instead she wonders who this man was, and how he could be so familiar with her if she cannot even comprehend who he was. 

That train of thought stopped the moment he placed a purple hyacinth down at her palm. Tears started to gather and fall; and how could she blame them. 

In front of her was her partner, the one man who single handedly changed her life for the better. The man who made her question her beliefs. Destroy the walls limiting her vision and leave values that brought her more harm than good, and more misery than joy. 

It burned her vision, but it was the day she could truly see the truth. 

"Kieran," she says through the will to scream at him for leaving her, and wanting to make sure he was actually there. 

"I never thought that you would go first" he gently carcasses her hand, a different feeling yet a familiar one, "Or we would make it this far." 

"Me too" she was a fool for trying to hide the fact that she was crying, while he did no effort to hide his, "I'm happy to see you" 

She truly was. She's lost so many people in her life. Once forced to live without him, and forced to watch those around her die and leave her alone. 

Despite the lack of people around them, no words were spoken. She had so much to ask, and much more to tell, but none of it seemed matter as she felt her life slowly slipping away. 

He traces over the mark on her right palm, comparing it to the one on his own. That mark has been nothing and everything to her. 

If the moon was how he watched her, that scar connected her to someone out there that has the same scar; no matter how far apart they were. 

_A blessing and a curse_

Something she can't escape, but why did she even try to? 

It was just like their deal, their wishes, their life, and what they are to each other. 

Her family went back in, she said her goodbyes and placed a grateful smile on her face for him, and only for him. 

He mouthed 'Thank you' and that was the last thing she saw in the world. 

_It turns out, she did not want all those questions answered. All she needed was to see him._

_And again she falls._

_Finally, he catches her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it ❤️


End file.
